Celebrating frienship
Virginia_Molet
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Celebrating frienship
Celebrating frienship
Meet Thais! She is a COVID 19 survivor. On her third day in Intensive Care I was having my first (and last) MRI.I sent her an apocalyptic video from the hospital telling her that we were both going to be fine and that we´d soon swim the Abra Bay in our hometown with a fine dinner afterwards.But deep inside I felt the risk was high for both, and that at least one of us would die. I was scared and got a bit dramatic.We met at University. I was impressed by her cool look, long legs, short skirt and amazing brain. She was always the first to finish the exams and the one getting the highest scores.We knew every single nightclub in Madrid in the 90's.We met our husbands, and when my first son was born, I asked her to be his godmother.Then we worked together at the same company and had a big fight. We stopped talking to each other for over 6 years. First we hated each other, then missed the other hugely.I don't know when we became friends again, it just happened.This summer we watched the dramatic video and laughed remembering how fragile life is.Today I celebrate friendship, one of the biggest meals in the life feast!
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Your comfort zone
- of my clients was very clear about what he had to do to reach his important and long-term goals.But the truth is that he was too busy solving immediate and urgent tasks.He was very productive in those areas where he performed well, but that place where he felt confident at some point became his limitation.Our brain is wired to keep us safe and avoid danger for our own survival; so how do we convince ourselves to go to that difficult place where good things happen?I suggested a ¨Moving beyond comfort zones¨ exercise based on the book ¨101 Coaching Strategies and Techniques¨ by Gladeana Mc Mahon consisting of three steps:Step :Identify three of your comfort zones. Those areas where you´d benefit if you made a change.Step :Choose the one that will get you closer to your important goals, and that you are ready to challenge. Take a piece of paper and break it down:
- What benefits would that bring you?
- What are your fears?
- What´s holding you back?Step :Face those fears and expand your comfort zone.
- List the actions you could do to expand your limitations
- Detail the support you need and from whom
- Prioritize each action and specify the dates when you will startOur comfort zone is a great place, but nothing great grows there anymore.Let´s be brave and tell our brain there´s nothing to fear.
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You can´t give what you don´t have
Career Development
You can´t give what you don´t have. If you want to give affection and support to those around you, you need to be well yourself. Forcing yourself to care for others when you are not in a good state is not sustainable.It´s like asking your bank for a loan to give money to others when you don´t have a penny yourself. In the end the system will collapse.The desire to support others with their well-being arises spontaneously when we experience positive emotions ourselves.Taking care of yourself is a generous act of kindness. Invest in yourself, my friend!
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You can practice mindfulness anywhere
Career Development
- Only when you experience something do you fully understand it. I´ve tried to understand and master mindfulness several times during the last two years. I´ve started two courses and learned the theory, but I never finished them.I´m very aware of how much the practice can help me, but it didn´t click and I felt maybe I´m just not spiritual enough.Then last week an amazing Mindfulness teacher at the Positive Psychology Masters I´m studying explained that the best place to practice is within your own life.Because mindfulness only means that:
- We pay attention to a specific thing (breathing, body...)
- With an intention
- With an attitude of kindness, without judging the experience.If you know the theory you can practice mindfulness anywhere: while walking your dog, cooking . . . or just having a conversation , and you´ll get the same benefits. You don´t need to wear yoga pants and burn incense in a quiet room. You can train your brain to be fully present anywhere!And that´s what I´ve been intensely doing these past two years.In each coaching session:
- I pay full attention to a specific thing: my clients´ stories
- With a clear intention: to structure the conversation and create the space to think
- With an attitude of kindness without judging the experience: always!So my Masters includes a third meditation course, but this time I´m going to nail it. It took me two years of unintentional practice but I finally got it.In which activities are you fully present? Where are you in your meditation journey?(Thank you Cristian Coco, Mindfulness teacher at MAPPA UJI).
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